18th
For the excitement if anything…..
I’m not sure why it matters to me. A friend once made an observation about me. “I know how it means alot to you that everyone likes you.” and i think its been something ive battled with my entire life. The idea of being “Liked” of being wanted. but while it seems to be such a simple idea living your life for yourself and being happy by yourself is something that needs to happen. I’m older now and ive seen and learned alot about life so far in my journeys and i have to say that it’s alot harder than it seems especially coming from where ive been. i suppose there is mental hurdles you have to jump over when you age. when you go through certain stages in your life. needing some sense of validation from others is futile. and the judgements passed by those that are so inconsequential to your life projectory dont matter at all! I suppose that my core has been shaken due to changes in environment and situation. i just need to remain focused on me and my own trajectory because life and its craziness doesnt stop for anyone. you just keep moving forward. your reactions and even ur non reactions are reactions nonetheless and all you can do is keep going! even when your life is over your cells, your physical self keeps processing and will continue to do till the end of time, if that’s even possible….. im getting pretty heavy. I walk into this day with a positive outlook! i walk into this day feeling excited to see what happens. to see who i meet next! I feel ive made some great friends so far! and the events coming soon will surely not dissapoint because when you put it out there u surely make it happen! go forth gunzablazin and with conviction because even if u have none it surely wont be nearly as exciting……
